The Engagement.
Preamble
In November 1942 a 20 year old boy from Glasgow was spending his third year in the north of India, separated from the girl he had fallen in love with while at University. The Second World War was to keep them apart for 4 years. He kept a detailed diary of his this life full of war’s uncertainties; a diary in which he reveals just who he is. His writing and his dearest “A” nourished his spirit throughout those years. “A” was for “Annie”, my mum. They became engaged that month and then, just before Christmas several of his friends were killed in a road accident.
He wrote this poem at midnight on Christmas Eve.
December 24th 1942 Allahabad.
If I should die what will you think of me?
Will you remember then our carefree days
Our carefree days and careless kisses
And our chatter and our escapades?
And these recollections tempering grief
Smile while you weep.
Or will you think of us as we have been
Loving blindly; loving, with anger and despair
And passion and tears and raging sadness.
The madness of it all when we have clung
And lengthened time with lingering kisses
Till laughter fought with pain.
Or will you think of us – “not sure”
Squabbling about our love
The heartaches of uncertainty
Drifting: – all these times I could have said “I love you”
And didn’t; didn’t tell the old story
And left you wondering what it meant.
What will you think?
Of rubbing noses or great big hugs
Of emptiness and sadness?
Not that my darling, not grief or vain regrets.
But happiness that we have lived and loved right to the end.
We have been wedded soul to soul
To make our love eternal.
It won’t die with us – not with you or me.
When I am dead and forgotten
And you are dead and forgotten
And other couples love where we have loved
What of it?
We’ll be in heaven – trying to get comfortable.
Douglas Fletcher
